Have You Ever...

Have you ever wanted to be put through a trial/storm to see how your faith would withstand? I know, it seems crazy right, to want to be put through something hard, something that we possibly could not get through on our own. And the truth is we can't. We can't do it alone. Whether you believe in Jesus (& have accepted him into your lifestyle) this statement is true. How many times have you gone through something extremely tough & not called upon someone? It could be your sister, your best friend, your husband, or your Jesus. Yes, your Jesus. He's my Jesus. He's your Jesus. He's everyone's Jesus.

When Chris & I first got married, it was tough, financially. I think back upon it now & wonder how in the world we made it out as well as we did. Those were simpler times. Even if we were frivolous, they were simple. It was just us, in a trailer, in our first home as a newlywed couple, & I loved it. Now, the experience may have been a little ...rough around the edges... but it was our first year of marriage & I wouldn't trade that experience for a rich (financial) one. It was once we got ourselves one of those mortgages when things started to get a little "first yearish." You always hear that the first year is the hardest & I could not disagree more. The first year is great, you're still in newlywed mode with each other & look past (or don't even see) each other's faults. The second year is when you realize that he leaves the dishes in the sink, he puts his wet towels on the floor, or whatever, then it seems as your marriage vision is coming into focus. Those are good moments to throw a mop or duster in his hand & day, "want to spend some time together?" ;) ...anyway, I'm getting off track. I can tell you, during those simpler times, that's when I felt closest to God. I can vividly remember those moments & sometimes become jealous of that time I used to have. Did God move away? Of course not, I did. I lost my sight. I got distracted & didn't try to come back to shore. One conclusion I have come to over the past 8 years is, I do my best when I am not wealthy. What I mean is, when I have cushion, I become a cushion. I just sit there & do nothing. I take part in nothing. A bump on a log. I honestly believe where we are right now is part of what God wants for us, so that we don't lose sight of what wealthy really means. I have a great family, great friends, we both have the opportunity to further our education, we have a roof, we have food in our pantry, we both have cars, we have clothes, & so much more. Don't lose sight of what really matters....

-Ash-

8 Years

It wasn't hot. It wasn't cool. It was September.
Early & dark outside. Nervous, ecstatic, & anxious it was inside. I couldn't sleep any longer. I needed to, but couldn't. So, getting up to what the day beheld, this was my life...
Stepping over the overflowing bodies that occupied the floor, beds, & rooms I made my way up the stairs one last time. It was here, it was finally happening. Long conversations with small talk lingered as the coffee strewn air filled the room, with it's power to awaken this sleepy soul. This is it, am I ready? Laughs with love occupied the time while sleeping beings occupied the space. Not knowing what to do but love and take it slow. This is it, I am ready...

Pins & curls. Jewels & gown. What was I to do but feel beautiful. Flowers decorated. Surrounded by able bodies who loved. Not knowing where to look but up. He was here, but where. Can't I see him? I long to. Soon, my love. Soon...


September 4th will always be marked by one of, if not, the best days of my life. Eight years ago today I said "I do" to the best man that has ever graced this planet (yes, I know Jesus was here, but that's a given). Everyone says that they would love to go back & change things about their wedding, me being in that statistic, but one thing would still remain the same. I will still say, "I do."

The past 8 years have definitely had their ups & downs (I believe marriages should have some downs), & I would not trade them for the world. They have been the best years of my life. Through them I have gained:

- a brilliant husband

- a lovely daughter

- 2 neurotic pets

- 1 "tiny" new car ;)

- real estate experience

- the love of Hagar Van Halen instead of Roth Van Halen

- a reoccurring desire to play guitar 

- my first rock concert (Sammy Hagar/Chickenfoot) ;)

- the love to cook

- the ability & mentally to do what I want to

- and so so so so so so much more....

(Because I own no scanner you will have to enjoy these photos, ghetto style)

 My family were in "stitches" the entire day. It's what we do best :)

We started off our marriage in laughter, & that brings me so much joy. 

Other than love, laughter is the most important thing. 

He keeps me laughing ...& I love it!

If you know our family, this picture is important. 

Chris' dad was not able to see us marry because he is in prison.

He was able to hear the entire ceremony through the cell phone that our 

Best Man held the entire time. 

So, that is basically a photo of us with his dad...

We had Blues music played at our reception by a group of good friends.

I would choose it again, it was fantastic!

It's been a fantastic life so far! God has blessed me beyond anything that I could ever begin to imagine! I truly mean that! I cannot begin to comprehend what the next few years hold. If it's anything like the past 8, it will be one hell of a ride! 

-Ash-